This is deep stuff

So there's this guy. His name is Jack Handey. And once upon a time, he wrote a bunch of stuff and called it "Deep Thoughts". Some of them are actually quite true and occasionally I laugh at them. I was first introduced to this world of deep thinking by a dear friend of mine. Her name is Ashleigh Kaitlyn Horrocks. And I love her. Here are some of our favorites:

• Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.
• The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
• To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.
• Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.
• The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you.
• It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money.
• Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.
• If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.
• Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.
• Instead of having 'answers' on a math test, they should just call them 'impressions' and it you got a different 'impression' so what, can't we all be brothers?
• Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point.

Pretty deep, huh?