The Testing Center of Doom

Yesterday I had to take a test. Here at BYU-Idaho we have what is called the "Testing Center." When you have a test in a class you simply go to the testing center, they give you your test, you take it, and then they give you your score. It's a simple as that. Or it should be. Here's what really happens:

1. You study your brains out for a few hours before taking the test
2. You eventually leave the library to actually take the test
3. You brave the Rexburg wind and cold and head towards the entrance to the testing center
4. You open the door, only to find a seemingly endless staircase of uninviting concrete before you, usually filled up with dozens of poor souls, also taking tests.
5. Nobody talks
6. You wait in line until you finally work your way up the hugantic staircase and through the winding line in the little room at the top. It's like a walk of shame up those steps and you haven't even taken the stinkin' test yet!
7. You prepare yourself by turning off your phone and retrieving your I-card and lucky number 2 pencil
8. You glance up at the camera staring down at you from the corner of the little room
9. A little bit of trembling happens here
10. They call you forward to the front desk where they take your I-card. The workers there seem to stare into your soul as they say, "Do you have a phone?" "Well...uhhh.. yes. But it's off." They take a second glance into your soul to make sure your phone is really off and then say, "You can't use anything on this test except a pencil. Your can get your test at the end of the desk."
11. You walk over to the "printer guy" on duty. He prints a test for you and asks, "What can you use on this test?" Is this a trick question? It's like a test before I even take my test! "Just a pencil." I say. "Good luck." I wonder if they ever get tired of wishing everybody good luck.
12. You go into the actual testing room, find an empty seat, take your backpack off, unbutton, unzip and un-velcro your coat, take off your hat, scarf, gloves, and ski mask, all without making noise or else the whole testing center stops what they're doing to look at you.
13. While taking your test, you can't look up at all because the creepy testing center people are walking right by your desk looking down into your helpless soul even more and chances are, it's the same one that did it at the front desk because they've probably rotated jobs by now. No looking up.
14. If you see someone you know and they see you, DO NOT say hi. It's like a Nazi camp here. No friends, no smiles, NO happiness.
15. You try to stay focused, despite the guy next to you shaking the whole room by bouncing his leg up and down and endlessly clicking his pencil. Apparently they have mechanical number 2 pencils.
16. You finally finish your test, put everything back on, still trying not to make any noise and walk to the test retrieval spot. They take your test and since you're leaving they seem to be a little bit less disgusted with you. What a relief.
17. You walk outside to see your score. "95% Fantastic!"
18. You walk away with a smile. Apparently there's happiness outside the testing center.